tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9026750446842946390.post8066639034809573426..comments2023-05-18T03:34:13.887-06:00Comments on Releasing Jessie: Choosing An Identityjessiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06399613921768190064noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9026750446842946390.post-50307823912656203972014-05-09T16:32:46.553-06:002014-05-09T16:32:46.553-06:00Thanks Kel Ann for your kind words and thoughts. ...Thanks Kel Ann for your kind words and thoughts. I've written a bit about Mother's Day, but generally, I don't have to share the day. So, it's mainly trying to pick out the right gift or whatever. Lately, I've been giving it far less thought. I do have a post that I'm hoping to get out today though. jessiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06399613921768190064noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9026750446842946390.post-72652366821669575692014-05-09T10:52:46.185-06:002014-05-09T10:52:46.185-06:00I just read this one. I'm slowly going throug...I just read this one. I'm slowly going through your blog. I could have written this one myself, minus being a mom because I'm a step mom, I guess. Recently, I had a flashback of past stuff from childhood that I buried. Dr. McBride said and so did my therapist that hurtful things we had to snuff out will surface as we continue to heal. It's been almost 3 years that I learned about my reality of being raised by a narcissist and yet the memories keep coming. Like you, I was never told I was pretty. Recently, I had a flash back of my aunt telling me when I was 12 or 13 that I could be a model. I think this stuck out in my head as odd at the time because I was never told I was pretty. My sister was told that all the time by my parents and other people but I never heard that. To this day, I still remember being that not yet a teen girl thinking gee, someone thinks I"m attractive. I always remember questioning it. I feel sorry for that girl back then. Just this week, I was working at my friend's office and he entrusted so many things to my care and I had only been there a few days not knowing how he ran his business. He trusted me and my ability but in jobs past, I worked for a lot of narcs. Now that I look at it, they always had their thumb over me to the point I would make mistakes or constantly be questioned(put down) as to why I did something the way I did because it was different than what they would do. Like you pointed out above, you can't shine as an individual. I also shared with my DH this week about a time when I was learning to ride my bike without training wheels. My dad was working with me on this and one day I just decided on my own, I would ride my bike without the training wheels and no help. Well, I did it! I remember feeling so impressed with myself that I ran inside to tell my NM and basically I received "oh that's nice" and that was it. She didn't even want to come outside to see me ride it. I can't even recall what my dad said because I think I was so crushed by my NM's non-reaction to my accomplishment. Here again, I feel so sorry for that little girl. Like you, I'm still trying after almost 3 years to figure out who I am and what I like and what I won't put up with anymore. I'm slowing discarding friendships that don't take an interest in me. It's kinda scary because my world is getting smaller and smaller I know I will make new friends but they will be better friends. I'm also not going back to my Father in laws 80th birthday. He lives out of state and I"m at the point now feeling that my in-laws take no interest in our life nor do they make an effort to see us. My DH is going to fly back for his birthday but only for a short stay. He's realizing the same things I am now. Anyway, I really enjoy your blog. I look at it almost daily hoping to see a new post. I'm hoping you'll write about Mothers' day and if you had any obligation to forgo your needs vs your MIL & NM. I know you more than likely have a different stance on it now but I"m always curious to see what they try (my family included) to pull and put their needs before ours. Happy Mothers day! Love your blog! - Kel AnnAnonymousnoreply@blogger.com