Several years ago, I was spending some holiday time with my in-laws. We'd been together for several days. My family had decided to come down to this resort for a couple of days too to spend time with me.
My sister's birthday had been the day before. My family had taken us all our to dinner to celebrate our birthdays, as our birthdays are one right after the other.
The next day, my family left. NMIL decided she wanted to celebrate her son's birthday. His birthday was a week away. It was my actual birthday. It was very clear at the dinner that the it was to celebrate BIL's birthday. She ordered him a special dessert (oh, and get Jessie one too). Sang Happy Birthday to him first (then they sang to me). Made a big deal out of him. And then tacked me on too. And it was my actual birthday.
Birthdays are not a big deal to me (well, my birthday isn't.) Having a sibling with a birthday so close to mine and being after the holiday season, my birthday has always kind of been just one more celebration. NM was relatively good about trying to make it special for me. But after everything else, my birthday was like trying to drink when you have a bad hang over. Your heart's just not in it. Plus, NSis and I had to share things a lot. Sometimes, I got the second half of the cake. A lot of the times, we got similar gifts. So, I watched her open her (my) gifts, and then had to wait a day to open mine. But I was used to it.
The dinner with NMIL really pushed me over the edge though. With NSis, I was at least always treated as equal in the celebration. Having NMIL make someone else MORE important than me, celebrating someone else, and begrudgingly celebrating me too ON MY ACTUAL BIRTHDAY made me feel like shit.
It's all those little things that just add up over the years.