This song was written about something else entirely, but it always reminds me of my relationship with my mother. Although some of the song doesn't fit (exactly), the majority of it expresses how I feel:
One
written by the members of U2
Is it getting better?
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame
You say...
One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it
Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without?
Well it's...
Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...
Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head?
Did I ask too much?
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Will we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt
One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One... life
One
I always considered this a love song in a positive way. I have never thought of it as a song sung at the black hole kind of love that we got from the personality disordered ....it takes on a whole new meaning of frustration and level of complexity in that context.
ReplyDeleteI think this song is supposed to be about national harmony, or some big "global" peace ideal.
DeleteBut to me, I've always heard a really dysfunctional relationship in the lyrics.
Hi Jess,
ReplyDeleteI love this song, but I had never really paid that much attention to the lyrics. Seeing it all written down like that brings so much more meaning to it. I loved the line about 'playing Jesus to the lepers in your head', that's Anton Ego and my brother all over :P
Thank you so much for sharing.
My friend, Bono, is an amazing lyricist ;). I love lyrics. Good writers are some of our great poets.
DeleteAnyway, yes, the line you mention is the exact one I relate to NP. I can almost see her in my mind how she envisions herself....
I hadn't looked at the words closely before, thanks for posting it. The words say a lot. This is really weird, I'm not a U2 fan but this one of two songs I do like from them. xxTR
ReplyDeleteI'm curious what the other one is.
DeleteThere is another song they have that I feel very much fits my mother and I too. I'll have to find it and post it.
From what I understand about Bono, his mother died when he was young (maybe 12?) and it left him living with only his father. His father was a very cold man whom Bono says he fought with constantly and struggled with all through adulthood. The other song I was referring to, he wrote about his relationship with his father.
I've always thought of this as the Codependent Song. One the one hand, the person (singer) acknowledges their part in the relationship; on the other, an uncertainty of how to change the dynamics, the powerlessness over the other, the huge disparity between the other's words and behaviors. When only one is doing the "carrying," the weight becomes overwhelming.
ReplyDeleteRegardless of the background or "reasons" proffered for the NPs to be who they are, I still believe they made a willful choice to remain exactly who and what they are. We paid the price-as has everyone else who came in close (particularly) contact. However, we were powerless as children to withdraw from their predations. This was not a level playing field for us at all. We were not then-or now-sharing their reality, yet they predate on our's with impunity as if we are an all-you-can-eat buffet located for their convenience.
Excellent tune. Thank you, Jessie. IMO, you nailed it-the feelings, observations and dynamics inherent in these relationships when we start to truly see them in their unvarnished Truth.
TW
Yes, I think in looking at the lyrics in a romantic relationship, it would be very codependent.
DeleteFor me, I always felt like I was being pushed to be "one" (living in family, being together as one....or enmeshed, as I would call it now) by my mother. And in a way, she almost held me hostage to being codependent on her, even as an adult. When I finally got through some milestones in my life, and relieved myself of the "need" of her, I was finally free to make decisions based on what I want and need, rather than what she wants to exploit from me.