Something keeps bothering me about the "Dust up" as Q calls it. It has to do with compassion. And it is something I've wrestled with as I move forward in my healing.
What role does compassion, empathy, and sympathy have in dealing with narcs?
Are we able to have any compassion for the narcs in our life? Is having empathy, on level, only opening us up to attack? I know they view this as a weakness. I know they see empathy as a pathway to destruction They use and abuse our empathy for their own exploits. But as someone pointed out, empathy is one of our greatest attributes as humans. Mercy, compassion, and empathy help define us and separate us as people. When we loose our empathy, do we no longer regard our fellow man with humanity but rather as a mere object. To remove our empathy, do we then no longer see the emotions of the "others", force ourselves to not see their emotions, and possibly, maybe slide down a slippery slope to becoming them?
I ask because empathy is important to me. It is a trait in myself I have always valued. I want to be empathetic to extend human kindness for the sake of humanity. I want peace. Naive and over simplistic as that may be, I refuse to give up my empathy for anyone. I refuse to not allow anyone the rights of human dignity. I've always believed in due process. I've always believed in maintaining a place, where if the person is humbled and sorry enough, that I will allow them hope of redemption. I want to forgive. I do not want to hate. I do not want to judge other than what is necessary to maintain my safety and that of others.
But where does that fit in with a narcissist? Is allowing any empathy (even if it is only in our own hearts) opening us up to harm? Can you maintain empathy for them as a human being, while keeping safe distance?