Dismissed

For the sake of anonymity, some the details of the actual event will  be changed.
I have a close family member who posted something extremely offensive on FB.  Not only was it offensive to the people he posted about, but also to me personally.  This isn't unusual for this person, but I guess it finally got on my nerves.  But I didn't dare say anything.  I didn't want to rock the boat, so to speak, and judging by all the comments from this person's small minded "friends", I knew I'd be in the minority anyway.  And then I got angry at myself for not saying anything.  In the end, I just deleted this person as a FB friend, as I knew nothing I said would change them and would only open me up to ridicule.  So, better I just get rid of his stream of crap.
Anyway, I emailed my mother about it, as she is the person who links me to this relative.  At first, she was also disgusted, claiming how ridiculous it was.  The next day I received a very different email.  It was full of every narcissistic stereotype.  "Don't feel offended." she stated.  How can I not feel something?  And frankly, why should I not be offended.  Oh yeah, because that bothers her and god forbid she has to feel an uncomfortable feeling.  The offender is young, ignorant, uneducated, not as experienced as you, she said.  Oh, and so that excuses all of this person's rants?  Over and over she made excuses for why they would say something.  I wrote back, restating my point of view.  It was offensive to me, related directly to  me, and was scary in that people suggested violence towards these people.  It was just plain sick, I told her.  She wrote back saying she "hadn't understood the whole story".  Really?  I had clearly laid out the details before (and had the email chain to prove it).  But just one more excuse.  Then she turned it around to say how she puts this person in his place.  Why can't she just say, "you're right.  That is unacceptable.  I don't agree with them.  That is offensive."  Just one more example of how I'm not allowed to have feelings.  One more time that the validity of what I'm saying is argued against.  One more time where I'm expected to just "let it go".  I'm sure she'd say she just didn't want me to feel bad.  Hated seeing me upset.  But the end result is it was all about the fact that it made HER uncomfortable.