Wednesday, May 30, 2012
My son's birthday is coming up. And what should be a fun time is, for me, filled with dread. It saddens me so much that whenever something important and momentous happens I know that it'll be emotionally exhausting as I deal with the narcissists in my life. The birthday will not be about my son. It will be about the grandmothers and the grandfather. They will demand the spotlight,be loud and obnoxious, snipe secretly at each other, and compete for attention. They will show up late and pull stunts to let me know who really is in charge. There will be criticisms of the table arrangement and decorations. People will overstay their welcome and do little to help. It has been this way for every birthday up to this point. Luckily, holidays are no longer like this, as I've reserved them for immediate family. But with the birthdays, I have to suck it up and deal. And more than anything, I hate that I'm upset. I hate that I can't enjoy my birthday and struggle to put on a happy face and let things go so my kids can have a great day. It's most definitely not about me, and I will do anything for my son to have a fun day. Too bad everyone else can't see it that way.