Releasing the past in order to find myself

Friday, July 13, 2012

Eleven for Vicarious

So, my dear friend Jonsi has challenged me to The Eleven Questions.  Here below, are my answers to the questions she posed.  Now, I have to change the rules a bit.  I think I will pose eleven questions at the bottom, but I don't think I will tag anyone, as most of the bloggers I know have already been tagged.  However, I open the invitation to anyone who reads this to either post answers in the comments section or on their own blogs (Either my questions, or Jonsi's, or both!)

The rules of this game are as follows:

1. Do not talk about Fight Club
2. You must post the rules
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in their post
4. Create 11 new questions to ask the people you've tagged
5. Tag 11 people with a link to your post
6. Do not change the rules [wink]

1. How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are?
This is a tough one for me.  I mean if I didn't know how old I was, I don't know if it would really matter.  I wouldn't want to be too old.  I would value the wisdom and insight ( I hope) I had gained.  But I like to get out and do things.  Like to be really active.  Like to be able to connect to nature in ways that if I was too elderly and infirm I might not be able too.  I also wouldn't want to be too young either.  Being young can have a lot of heartache attached, as you are often to naive to understand the scope of things.   But, truely, it would depend on the day.  Some days, I think how lovely it would be to just be my 13 month old's age.  To have everything be new.  To have so much potential and destiny ahead of you.  To be in awe at damn near everything, and to be delighted by damn near everything.  And to be forced to take naps ;).  
2. You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire.  They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified.  What do you do?
Well, I would have to defend her.  I wouldn't even approach it from the point of "she's my friend" because that doesn't matter.  The point is they shouldn't criticize in such a manner.  They are allowed their opinion, but a character assassination is less about the person they are talking about, and more about the people doing the talking.  And if I respect and admire these people, I would assume they would need to respect my opinions in return.  
3. Is is possible to know the truth without challenging it first?
I think very young children know the truth.  They are born with the truth.  Life corrupts and errodes the truth from us and we must spend the rest of our life searching for it.  And that only by challenging ideas do we find the truth.  Because that is the real test: real truth stands up to challenge.
4. Who do you most admire?
This another hard one for me.  I had to really think hard to think of someone I admire, and I was really coming up short.  I thought, "Geez, Jessie, what does that say about you that you admire no one?"  But I think what it came down to is that admire anyone, completely, is a bit simplistic for me.  Few people are admirable in their entirety.  Not that they are bad people, but by sheer virtue of being human, I'm sure they have traits they could work on.  With that said, I find lots of people to have lots of admirable characteristics.  So, here are things I admire in a person: honesty, integrity, desire to learn, desire to be of service, desire to not remain stagnant.  I admire generosity for the sake of wanting to do for another, without expecting anything in return.  I admire people who are so comfortable with themselves that they make you feel comfortable with yourself too.  I admire people who can appreciate the simplistic, small wonders in life but search for the greater all-encompassing wonders of life.  I appreciate people who can enjoy life and laugh in a genuine way, not in a way that is at the expense of others.  I admire people who are always looking for a way to live life better.
5. If you just won a million dollars, what is one thing you would buy with that money?
I would pay off our mortgage to relieve DH of some of the stress of his job.  I'd also take my family on a vacation, far, far away.
6. For the impending zombie apocalypse, what will be your weapon of choice and why?
Well, I'd like to be all highbrow and say "knowledge".  Because really, you've got to be wily to out survive the zombies.  Other than that, maybe a bazooka?  Something I can fire long range, and take out a lot of them at once?
7.  What is your favorite book?
"Gone with the Wind".  Scarlett is a tough little bitch, but she was the first female character I came across in a novel whom I felt wasn't getting walked all over and playing to stereotype.  I was 16 at the time I first read the book.  I loved how spunky and defiant she was.  I loved how she refused to give up.  I loved how she always picked herself up by the bootstraps, as well as many around her, and continued to move on.  I loved that she was flawed but strong.  That she continued to learn and change.  Plus, I also love history and loved a story set in a historical context.  But books are sacred to me, and I could list a ton that have significance to me.
8. How do you think of yourself - Hero, or villain?
 Neither.  I think being either is to deny apart of yourself.  That the struggle between the two is what makes us human.  I mean, if you are always the villian, are you not always taking, plotting, and stealing from others?  The hero is always self sacrificing for everyone else and never receiving.  I don't think you can live in either of these extremes.
9. Who do you sometimes compare yourself to?
Everyone.  Not in a measuring up kind of way.  But as I'm coming out of the FOG, I've really had to define some new "road markers" for life.  What I always believed has been shattered and I'm looking to see how much I've been conditioned to, and how much is really me.  But, in the end, my goal is to compare myself to no one.  To live in my own authenticity.  To not compare (which is to see who is lesser or more, in my view) as it somehow suggests judgement.  To live to my own goals, ideals, and truths.  
10. What are three moral rules you will never break?
1).  Do no intentional harm to others (really, do no harm, but all of us screw up on occasion unintentionally).  This includes treating others with integrity and respect.  Even the people I don't like.  I mean, not respecting them as people, but respecting their basic rights as human beings.  Because I will not lower myself to their standards.
2)  Be honest.  Try to live in an authentic way and be honest as much as you can.  This does not mean I have to tell everyone, everything all the time (which is what I've been led to believe is honesty).  But to always interact in a way that is not deceitful with others.  That I do not behave in covert ways to manipulate others.
3)  Live with integrity.  To try and live a life which I can look back on and say, I did the best I could.  I tried to do right by those around me.  I didn't step on, use, or manipulate anyone for my own petty interests.  That I tried to live life by improving on things around me, instead of taking away from things.   To continue on and reaffirm this everyday, even if I may fail or make mistakes on occasion.

11. If you could go back in time and tell a younger version of yourself one thing, what would you tell?
To think for yourself.  Always question.  Never follow blindly.  Believe in yourself and your gut.  Stick up for yourself.

1.  What have you done lately that you are proud of?
2.  What is one of your greatest pleasures in life?
3.  What is a small thing that someone did for you that changed your life?
4.  If you knew you would succeed, what would you want to do?
5.  What is your favorite holiday?
6.  Which trait do you wish you had for yourself?
7.  Which trait do of yours do wish other people had more of?
8.  What is your favorite part of nature?
9.  What do you hope others see in you, or hope others would describe you as?
10.  Who is your favorite (or are you most intrigued/interested by) character in literature/TV/Movies?
11.  What is a hobby or activity you'd like to try in the future that would be new to you?  

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