Releasing the past in order to find myself

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Gone

My brain seems to have checked out lately.  I really don't know what the problem is.  Maybe I'm too focused on all this stuff.  Maybe I've just given myself a little vacation.  I'm usually so on top of things.  But I just can't seem to get my shit together lately.  I forgot to pay a bill.  When packing up my son for an outing with his dad, I forgot half the stuff I had laid out.  I've been forgetting the kids sunhats or shoes or water on trips.  I let the cat out the other day and forgot if I let him back in.  I spent a half hour searching for him outside, only to find him blinking sleepily at the top of the stairs in the house.  
Today was a wreck of a day.  A hale storm destroyed all my flowers.  The cat ate my son's favorite stuffed animal (which is really weird for the cat).  I was up all night, helping my little one relearn how to sleep.  My oldest was up at the crack of dawn.  I bought eggs at the store and left them for two days in the back of my VERY hot car.  The garbage sack ripped open on the way to the dumpster.  I forgot to repack the "emergency" potty for my son.  We used an empty water bottle.
I just seem to be checked out of my own head.  Or maybe too much in my own head.  I feel so differently, yet have been so bogged down in the past.
Posted on FB that I was having "one of those days".  NM called within the hour.  Funny, she hasn't called to check on me, or frankly, called at all for months.  But she called today.  Like flies to shit.

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